Finding joy in the messy middle


I was sitting at my laptop, reflecting on how the holiday season always marks the end of another year, when I caught myself doing something high achievers do all the time:

Focusing on where I fell short while completely overlooking how far I've come.

Like my client who landed the $150K role she'd been gunning for, only to immediately start worrying about if she was really ready for it.

When you're in the messy middle of working toward your next career goal — that time in between where you are now & where you want to be — it's easy to stay in lack.

And it's all too easy to complain about things we once wished for:

  • The job that affords you an amazing life
  • Too much free time after a layoff
  • Feeling overwhelmed by your new role
  • The pressure that comes with a promotion

There's one simple ingredient that will bring more joy and flow to your journey:

Gratitude.

Think about gratitude like an ever-present stream of well-being that flows, you can tap into at any point. It's meant to be accessed, not earned.

The trick to happiness is being more grateful for life exactly as it is right now, however imperfect — even when you are working toward your next chapter.

Appreciate and appreciate more. This will help you attract more of what you want into your life.

Here are 3 tools to increase your gratitude (and happiness) right now:

1. Appreciation Rampage

Your word is your wand, and what you focus on expands. Allow yourself to really feel the feelings of appreciation. 2 ways to do this:

Write it.

Grab a physical journal or open your notes app. Write 100 things you're grateful for.

Start with 10 and get the easy stuff out of way. But the more you write, the better you're feel. You'll start to realize just how MUCH is around you to be grateful for... this triggers abundance thinking.

Speak it.

While you're getting ready for the day, say all the things you appreciate out loud. It's important to note the little things:

"I'm so grateful for the food in my fridge, for my family that loves me no matter what, for the water in my shower. I'm grateful for the air I breathe, the trees that grow outside my window, and when sunlight peeks through the clouds. I appreciate all the people in my life who want me to win — and all the people I have yet to meet. I appreciate the lessons that I'm learning right now..."

You get the gist. Make it your own. To do this on autopilot, record a voice note or use the ThinkUp app to repeat daily.

2. Mental Subtraction

As humans, we have a strong aversion to loss. When we think about the pain of loss, we instantly become far more grateful for what’s right in front of us, however imperfect it is.

I recently learned and exercise from a book called The Gap and The Gain that blew my mind.

It's called mental subtraction.

Here's how it works:

  • Select 1 specific thing to mentally subtract: it could be a relationship, an achievement, your health, a possession.
  • Imagine how your life would be if you never had that 1 thing — or if it was instantly taken away from you forever.
  • Picture the impact that would have on you right now. Think about how losing that one thing would affect your future. How would it affect others?
  • Write down how your life would be different.
  • Now, refocus on the present moment and this one thing in your life that you’ve been focusing on. This one thing is a huge addition to your life. How can you appreciate it even more? How can you turn this gain into even more gains?

Use this tool as often as needed to appreciate what's right in front of you.

3. Daily Practice

I suggest baking a daily gratitude practice into your life. We're constantly on our phones, comparing our lives to the perfect versions of others we see online. Use your tech to help you in this case:

Set a reminder on your phone 2x per day with 2 questions:

  1. What am I grateful for right now?
  2. How can I show more appreciation for what I already have?

When you make gratitude a practice, you change your state on a regular basis. Your state determines your experience of joy, your happiness.

Bring on that energy of appreciation.

Go tell someone in your life today you appreciate them :)

I'll start.

I appreciate YOU. Thank you for reading the words I write (with my own 10 fingers on my lil ole laptop). I hope they remind you that you deserve to create a career and life that lights you up.

All you need to do: Decide what you want, Believe it's possible, Take massive action. And keep showing up when you can't yet see the result. Simple, not easy.

Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate!!

With gratitude,

P.S. Come back to your inbox tomorrow morning. Black Friday bonuses LOADING... 🎁

It's time to put the life back into your career

I help generalists across tech and consulting who are feeling stuck and unfulfilled unlock clarity and confidence to build more energizing careers. We upgrade their mindset, story, and strategy to make career transitions with confidence. Join my newsletter to build your career by design and life on purpose. You're in, right?!

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